above all else.

so here lately, i have recently been totally captivated by books on love and marriage. as i mentioned in my previous post, i just start 2 new books. but lastnight at church, i felt compelled to go back to the class that i used to attend before i had jordan. of course i have had plenty opportunities since then to return, i just haven't for whatever reason. but on with the story-here lately i have been having anger issues. none of which are caused by my friends or family, but which are ignited by my workplace. throughout my work day, i guess bogged down by all the negativity that goes on. and i realize this will happen at just about any workplace, but i just can not take it right now. another thing is, i really want to be a stay at home mom now. i feel like i am missing so much when i am not there with him during the day. and though i am thankful my mom can take care of him (and nick's mom on fridays) it still hurts. but it is just not feasible right now for me to quit. hopefully one day that will be an option we will have though (praise Jesus) Also, 4 months is not long enough for your hormones to get back in order after having a baby and i have found that i jump to conclusions a lot and i blow up at the slightest thing and i kick myself for it everytime after i do that. but it's almost like i have no control, so maybe hormones play a role as well. unfortunately, the one that gets the majority of my anger is nick. and it is totally not fair to him at all. he does nothing to me to provoke it, i usually just blow up over the silliest things. so i have been struggling with this and praying about it. but like i said, i felt the need to attend the class lastnight and when it began, our teacher (will couchman) started the lesson with prayer (of course) and then began into the study. when i realized what we were studying, i was floored. almost like God took my hand and led me directly to that class. they are doing a study of the book of james in that class and if you know anything about the book of james, you know that it shows you how a Christian should act (after all the meaning of Christian is "Christ-like"). for those who don't know, james was thought to be the brother of Jesus. so as james is telling us how to act like Christ, he probably knows better than anyone if him being His brother is true. my cousin (who is very wise beyond her years) made a comment lastnight that hit really close to home with me. she was saying that if we can't get the book of james and how to act, then we can't "get" Jesus. meaning, if we don't do as Christ did, we basically aren't really accepting Him. it really struck a chord with me because i considered myself a pretty strong Christian, when really i was not strong at all. i let anger control me sometimes, which my sister fiancee compared to someone being drunk with alcohol. while you are drunk you usually do not have complete control over what you are doing. and just as a drunk is to alcohol, i am that to anger. i have let it control me and in turn the devil has parts of me. i say this to tell you all that i am praying and working on my problems. i do not want anger to rule my life. and i want you all to know that i really am not angry all the time, but my concern is that when i am, it is very intense. and after lastnight, i am worried that such anger could possibly jeopardize my soul. so please pray for me as i try to overcome my weakness. i am tired of hurting people i love, because i have no self control. and if one passage in james sticks out to me the most right now, it would be james 1:19-20: "My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires." and as my words have cut people this verse hits me as well-james 3:7-12 "All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water."

i am pouring my heart out...please help me God.


love-
laura

galatians 5:19-21 "The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God."

coming back to the blogside of things.

so i realize i never posted a "part 2" to nick's birthday dinner. let's just say it wasn't much to speak of. although his birthday dinner to stix was way fun. we are officially 3 days away from valentine's day and i feel pretty confident that i can discuss what i got my boys as nick will never read this blog nor will jordan since he will just be 4 months old saturday. i am getting nick a pair of tennis shoes that you can get that nike thing for that syncs with your ipod (i got him an ipod touch for christmas). i also got him a new auburn underarmour shirt. this one is orange. of course he still has the navy one. old faithful as we like to call it. i got jordan an auburn shirt that says "i have been a tiger fan all my life" or something like that. it was cute. i thought he needed it ha. i will also make them some little valentine's baskets as well i imagine. although nick is on a diet and really can't have candy, and jordan has no teeth...hmm...maybe i should rethink that ha. either way, i am excited. any holiday where i can have an excuse to buy them things is ok with me. in other news, jordan has recently found his screaming voice. it oddly resembles that of a bird call, but nonetheless it is precious. he goes for his 4 month appointment next tuesday. i am not excited about it at all. he has to get more shots. i cry. but it's ok. i am taking off the whole day so i can hold him and love on him the rest of the day after he goes. i can't stand it, but i guess getting the shots is better than the alternative. i have started 2 new books. which if you know me is totally unlike me since i'm not a big reader. but these are (i guess) self help books. they are books for healthy marriages. and as someone once told me (that someone being my dad) anything that helps your marriage is worth reading. also last sunday, my sister (Candace aka Aunt Cebe) took pictures of our beautiful baby and some of nick and i. i included one at the top of this blog. she is truly talented and if you ever need pictures done, she does all kinds of occasions and i can get you in contact with her. i guess that is all the news i have for now. i pray everyone has a fantastic valentine's day and even if you don't have a "significant other" be thankful that you do have those who love you very much. and above all, God loves you.

love-
laura

1 corinthians 13:4-7

nick's birthday dinner pt. 1

so as i mentioned in my last post, i decided i would try to cook nick a birthday dinner. we ended up having steaks. they were good. although i didn't cook them. nick ended up cooking them. which is probably a good thing. but i fixed the rest of the stuff to go with them. so go me. ha. jordan was a little fussy lastnight, but the night ended well and we are looking forward to tonight. i am trying to get us into STIX for nick's other birthday dinner. that is all for now...

-laura

A day in the life...

well since the computer has become the number one source of communication, i figured i would begin a blog to keep you all up to date on the happenings in the lives of nick, laura and jordan hays. for those who don't know (or are unfamiliar with ours lives) i am laura. i am 25 (26 in march) and i am a wife, mommy and i also work at a law firm in birmingham. my husband, nick is 23 as of today and works for a pipe supply place here in birmingham and my son, jordan, was born october 14, 2008 and makes my life very interesting. i love ever minute of it. so here is my first entry i assume.
today is january 15 which means it is nick's birthday. he is the big 23. and incidentally, yesterday jordan hit the big 3 month mark ha. i love both my boys very dearly. being a wife and a mommy gives me both purpose and a sense of fulfillment. but back to nick's birthday. i am attempting to make him a birthday dinner tonight (which might interpret to "i am making a lot of burnt food tonight for nick's birthday). we will see how that goes. i am not quite the natural when it comes to the kitchen, but i am attempting to make that a goal for myself. hopefully it will not be a complete disaster. i guess that is all for now.

love.laura.mark12:31